The Art of Writing

Well, another November has come and gone. Only so many shopping days left until Christmas!

Last month, I did something I've wanted to try before but never did: I participated in the annual National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo, for short. The goal is to write a 50,000 word or more novel during that month.

For me, I took this task as a challenge. I wrote my first words with a basic idea in mind, but had no idea as to what would really happen over the course of this story until I continued writing every day. I really took this seriously and committed myself to it every day, just like I'm doing on my current job search. Although some days I wrote more than others, on November 29th, I finally finished the goal of completing my novel. At over 50,600 words and more than 100 chapters, a prologue, and epilogue and a few author's notes at the end, this was a hefty task, and I'm proud of myself for accomplishing it. While I've written plenty of articles, press releases, and a few half-finished stories before, this was the first time I've written a full-length book, so I'm pretty darn happy!

As a treat for you, I thought I'd publish the prologue and the first two chapters of the book here. I haven't decided yet if I'll put the rest of this online, maybe if I do so, it'll be a downloadable file that requires a password. If I do any writing this month, it'll probably be editing a few minor plot points. Writers are never quite satisfied with their first drafts, after all! In the meantime, enjoy and have a great week!

Karma

A work of fiction by Aaron Backes

Prologue

“Man, how bittersweet is Karma!”

- “Karma” by Sevendust from the album Cold Day Memory

January 10, 2012

The bitter winds of another harsh Minnesota winter blew across the frozen Lake Krendle, a mid-sized lake that was just one of the state’s 10,000. Today’s projected high temperature was supposed to be a balmy negative fifteen degrees Fahrenheit, according to the ditzy blond weather lady, Maci Hughes, the early morning “Minnesota Metro News” meteorologist on the Twin Cities CBS Channel 8. Coupled with the bitter wind chill, it felt like fucking forty degrees below zero. Thankfully, it wasn’t snowing yet, although a couple of inches of fresh powder were in the forecast for tomorrow. It was too damn cold to snow much more than that, I guess.

A cold sun shone across the frozen lake, a light which I could see scant glimpses of through the small smudged window of the fish house I was currently sharing with my two good buddies Eric and Ron. We were fishing for panfish like we usually do once or twice a week during the winter. The fish haven’t been biting too well today, but we didn’t seem to mind. Besides, with all we’ve been through lately, it just felt good to get away for a while, drink a few beers, shoot the shit and take our minds off of the outside world, at least for a few hours anyway.

“Man, that wind is a motherfucking bitch,” Ron exclaimed while shivering nervously. His shoulder length grey hair swayed slightly as he shivered. A California native, Ron had only been living in Minnesota for five years, moving himself, his wife and their identical twin daughters from sunny La Jolla, CA to the sometimes aptly-named town of Autumn, MN when our now former employers relocated his position. He told me once he’d never even seen snow in person, except for a few ski weekends in the mountains of northern California, until he moved to Minnesota. “Why the hell are we still here? Winter in Minnesota sucks ass!”

“Yeah, no shit,” said Eric as he half-heartedly fidgeted with his fishing pole and nursed his beer. “We should’ve taken off for somewhere warm, like Florida or Mexico or something,” he said, taking another swig from his can of Dark Harvest beer and inching closer to the space heater that kept us from freezing our extremities off in the fish house. “I know I’d sure like to be laying on a warm beach somewhere right now!”

“That would be nice,” I replied as I fished around in the cooler for another cold one. Ideally at that time, we should have been taking a mid-winter’s vacation someplace nice and tropical, although we all knew we couldn’t leave the state. At least, not until the murder investigation was over, anyway.

Part 1

Chapter 1

How did it all begin, you ask? Well, it’s a long, complicated story. I can’t believe half the shit that happened. If I hadn’t lived through it, I’d have thought it was all a dream, or maybe some Stephen King story, the kind that keeps you up all night reading the entire thing from cover to cover, because the story just draws you in, so much that you feel like you’re a part of it. Might as well start from the beginning, I suppose. That’s how most storytellers do, anyway. Be pretty silly of me to start at the end, now wouldn’t it?

The ball started rolling almost three years ago at ITU, our former employers. ITU stood for International Technologies Unlimited, although there are now a few other choice words we’ve come up with now to creatively spell out that abbreviation. You can make up your own if you’d like, of course.

ITU began out of a rented warehouse in Yonkers, NY in the mid 1970’s as a small commodities trader. When I started there, they were known as an international insurance and securities broker, offering commodities in offices from Wyoming to Sweden, and almost everywhere in between. They had offices in thirty-two states and the one I worked at was the only branch in Minnesota. Besides their main lines of financial and insurance services, they also offered product warranties, computer software, and multiple other miscellaneous products and services.

When friends and family have asked me what I did at ITU, it was kind of hard to explain. Sometimes I said I was a jack of all trades, master of none. Other times, I said that I wore many hats. A few coworkers called me “Mr. Nice Guy.” To Angela Engelbretsen, the “grandmother I never had” (even though she was barely old enough to be an older sister to me) in Accounting, I was a veritable saint, especially considering all the crap I’d put up with in the long run. She always quick with compliments!

As far as what my actual job was, I was the chief administrative clerk for the Insurance and Financial Services – Upper Midwest Division. I basically did all of the office work, the “behind the scenes” details for the six sales reps (one each for Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa, North Dakota, South Dakota and Michigan), the local level marketing consultant, and our regional sales manager. The Minnesota office was the only one in the Upper Midwest (except for a small billing and accounting office in Wausau, Wisconsin), so it made sense to base the reps for all of those states in one central location.

My main task every day was to log the sales data from each rep into the company’s database. Sometimes that involved deciphering some interesting chicken scratch scribbled by certain sales reps whose penmanship skills left a lot to be desired. After logging all of that information, I still had to (according to company policy) file the physical contracts in our file cabinets. I also had to scan and print each contract and save them in the respective file cabinets. I didn’t mind the tedious aspect of the job, although it made me think that for a company who emphasized the option of paperless billing to its customers, they sure killed a lot of trees!

About twenty years ago, the building was a warehouse and manufacturing facility for various automobile, truck, motorcycle and RV parts and accessories. It even had a small three-stall garage for repairs and maintenance for fleet vehicles, and had a two-stall car wash, before that part of the building was later torn down. It was part of a small national chain that went belly-up around the time of the dot-com bubble’s burst about ten years ago. When that business went under, ITU bought the building a few years later. I haven’t found anything remaining from that old parts franchise, but a few coworkers swore that the building was haunted by a couple of workers from that business. If you ever visit that building now, you may still find a stray desk or filing cabinet, although I imagine most of the building’s been vandalized or occupied by a stray homeless person or now since then. It’s been vacant for quite a while now. The last time I drove by there, it almost looked like a bomb had hit it, which in a way, I guess it kind of did!

Chapter 2

I started working at ITU about two and a half years ago. I’d just moved to Central Minnesota from Duluth after a nasty divorce. I still love my ex-wife Candace and will have some feelings for her, but she fell out of love with me while we were still married. Shit happens, I guess. She later married my old grade school buddy Greg Hansen. He has a good construction and remodeling business going in both Duluth and Two Harbors, so Candi can continue being a part-time substitute teacher and spend more time with our two boys Will and Austin.

When Candi first told me she had feelings for Greg, I blew up. We were at one of our favorite restaurants downtown, celebrating a rare night out without the kids when she dropped the bomb on me right after we’d finished the main course, and man did it hit me hard. I felt like I’d been kicked in the nuts with a sledgehammer! We’d been together for almost fifteen years and been married for ten, so of course I took the news pretty hard. I almost caused a scene at the restaurant, and narrowly avoided getting us kicked out. The manager of the restaurant was a friend of a coworker of mine at the time, so of course word got around town, and I had to lay low at work for about a week! My office door at the car lot remained closed most of the time I was at work, because it was the only way I could get any work done without some snarky comment by my less than sensitive coworkers.

The next weekend, I ran into Greg at a McDonald’s in Duluth, where I was taking the kids to lunch after treating them to an animated Disney matinee in town. He was there on a lunch break from one of his remodeling jobs with a couple of guys in his work crew. He made an effort to say hi and make some small talk, but because I had the boys with me, I couldn’t tell him what was really on my mind. I mentally pictured cursing him out, and then picking him up by his coveralls and tossing him head-first out of Mickey D’s. Thankfully I didn’t carry out that idea, or else I probably would’ve been arrested. Gee, that wouldn’t be traumatic for the kids now, would it?

Greg later sent me a couple of emails and a few odd texts, tiptoeing around the fact that he and Candi were an item, offering a few half-hearted apologies. He even offered to buy me a beer at one of the local bars we used to hang out at to make it up to me, but to me the damage was already done. I should have known something was up weeks earlier when he “unfriended” me on Facebook, but social media’s something I have a hard time getting into – my kids are better at that kind of stuff than I am, anyway, although I knew they were far too young to be monkeying with that stuff.

A few weeks later, I came home from a rather disappointing day at work to find Candi still in bed, nursing a hangover from a “girl’s night out” with her girlfriends the night before. While I was sitting on my side of the bed (the kids were still in school for a couple more hours), my foot landed on a piece of clothing under the bed. I kneeled down, and found a pair of boxers that weren’t my brand. Furious, I coerced Candi into revealing that Greg had slept with her a couple of days before when I was at work. Turns out, this wasn’t the first time either.

A couple of months before, when I took the kids to visit my folks in Lakeland, Florida during their school’s spring break, Candi stayed behind. She told me that she had some student evaluations to work on, and that she was going to spend some time organizing the spare room of our house that she’d been using as a home office. At the time, I didn’t think much of it, but lying there in bed nursing a hangover, Candi confessed that Greg had slept over all week that week until the kids and I returned. At that moment, I realized my marriage was over.

Things unraveled from there rather quickly – my marriage fell apart, not to mention my friendship with Greg. (His marriage ended soon after too, although he and his wife Sherri had been living apart for two years. They were in the same house, but slept in separate bedrooms. They had no kids, and his wife was as shocked as I was, so I guess I can’t feel too badly for him.) After I signed the divorce papers (we worked out an arrangement with our respective lawyers to share custody of the kids – they’d still live and go to school in Duluth and I could spend time with them on weekends), I decided that I had to get the hell out of town, not knowing when or if I’d ever return. I quit my job selling new and used cars at the Duluth Automart too. At that point in my life, I just wanted a new start.

After packing what was left of my life’s possessions after the divorce into a U-Haul truck, I decided to head to Autumn, MN because my old college roommate Ramon lived there. I hadn’t seen him in a long time, but he was the kind of good, reliable friend who understood exactly what I’d been going through, because he went through a bitter divorce himself a few years ago. He told me I could crash on his couch for a few days. He also told me about a job at UTI that he’d recommend me for. Candi used to give me grief constantly because I never finished college (I went to two semesters of general education classes at UMD but dropped out to spend time with my mom after she had a stroke), but I’ve been working at a lot of different jobs, ever since my dad had me start mowing my Grandma Hazel’s lawn during the summer I turned thirteen. Hence, the “jack of all trades, master of none” moniker.

At the time, I was also offered a job with another firm in town selling life and health insurance for Seventh National Trust. I’d just been selling insurance for MNWI Co. in Duluth for five years before I got into the auto industry, and I really had no interest in selling insurance again. It was easy money for me. I had a natural ability to sell, and I had built a good client base, but I really got bored with it. After all the turmoil in my life, I just wanted a fresh start. Looking back on how things all unfolded now, however, I kinda think that I made the wrong choice.

Bucky's Jobhunting Tips

Over the last four months, I've learned that looking for a new career is a lot different than it was just five years ago when I last looked for work. It seems like there are more and more job seekers applying for fewer positions than I've noticed when I last searched for a job about five years ago. Back then, I had lots of responses. In fact, I remember one week where I had seven interviews. This year, I've probably had about seven interviews all year! With the recession in mind, I decided that this was a great topic for my next blog post. Here's some constructive, practical advice for job hunters and possible employers. As always, your feedback is greatly appreciated!

Tips for Job seekers:

1. Set goals. With the extra free time I've had lately, I've found that it's easy to get distracted, especially when job hunting and working on resumes at home. A way to keep myself focused is to set goals, like applying for 5 jobs a week, for example. Another way to keep myself focused has been to physically remove myself from distractions at home by jobhunting at other sites, like the local library or workforce center. I've learned to really get in the mindset that job hunting is now my full-time job, at least until the next great career opportunity comes along.

2. Network, network, network. I've found that it's helpful to keep in touch with friends and acquaintances. There's no shame in letting them know that you're looking for work, because quite often your friends and former coworkers are quite sympathetic and receptive to your situation. A few of them may even refer you to good job opportunities! Social media networking on LinkedIn and even on Facebook apps like BranchOut are also good online networking options.

3. Keep the communication lines open. If there's a really good job opening that you've applied for or interviewed for, I strongly recommend following up with that employer. I keep a day planner and write down who I interviewed with and applied for and when to follow up with them. I usually follow up with a thank-you letter and/or email after an interview, and I would also recommend a follow-up call.

4. Stay positive. I know the job search can be frustrating, and it's very easy to get down on yourself, especially after a rejection letter finding out you didn't get the job you interviewed for, or just flat out hearing nothing after applying or interviewing. However, by keeping a positive attitude, I've told myself that if I didn't get a certain job, that just opens the door for other possible job opportunities. It's also helped me open my mind to look at other companies or fields that I might not have considered before. Positive self-talk is another good way to stay motivated. My motto during this experience has been "never give up," and it's a creed that I plan to stick with throughout.

5. Make some time for yourself. I know that job hunting can be a grind sometimes and it's not always easy to keep your hopes up, despite the positive self-talk that I just mentioned. That's why it's OK to make time for yourself sometimes. Before I lost my job, I already had plans to go to a couple of Twins games and rock concerts this summer, and I kept those plans - losing my job wasn't going to prevent me from having a little fun! Even just taking little breaks from the job search by taking a walk, watching a movie, reading a good book, listening to your favorite music or even lunch with friends can instantly improve your mood.

I also came up with a few helpful hints for employers, from the job seeker's point of view:

1. Keep the communication lines open. I've repeated this topic for the employers section of this blog, because when I've talked with other fellow job seekers about their searches, the most frustrating experience they've shared with me is the lack of follow up from employers after applying or an interview. I understand that employers don't physically have the time to follow up with every single applicant for every single position, but contacting candidates who've been interviewed for a particular position is another story. It can be very disheartening to put forth a great effort in applying and interviewing for a position that you know you can excel at, only to not hear from the people you interviewed with.

That's why I recommend that job seekers take the initiative to follow up themselves. In my opinion though, I strongly feel that interviewers should also follow up with every person they interview for a given position in a timely manner. I know that companies are often bogged down with dozens and dozens of applications and resumes and I don't expect them to follow up with each and every applicant, but if someone takes the time and effort to fill out their applications completely and promptly, asks good questions during the interview and is someone who could be a good fit for the job in question, it's well worth an employer's time to recognize that effort with a good followup call, email or letter. Keep the communication timely, too - if you tell a candidate they'll hear back from you in a week, then be sure to reply by then. If you offer to answer questions after an interview and a candidate calls with one, make time for them and answer their question while it's still fresh in both of your minds.

2. Keep communication personal. Another annoyance I've experienced after what I thought were good interview experiences has been to receive a form rejection letter or email. The worst one I received was when I was in college. I'd interviewed at a local company, and I'd thought the interview went well. Imagine my surprise a week later when I received a standard form rejection letter. To top it off, the human resources person at that company didn't even sign their name to the rejection letter. Instead, the salutation was "Sincerely, Human Resources" and the HR person signed the words "Human Resources" instead of their name to the rejection letter! I'd received form rejection letters before, but this one really stunk. It led me to believe that this was an impersonal company that I was better off not working for. I even toyed with the idea of sending them a form letter in reply, signed "Sincerely, Applicant" instead of using my name! Fortunately, after a few laughs, I thought better of that idea - no sense in burning bridges, right?

For the employer, I'd recommend a personal reply via phone, letter or email, which should thank the person for interviewing, and maybe even mention a few positive items from the interview. I've had the good fortune of interviewing for a couple of very good companies this year and although I didn't get the jobs, they were very prompt and personal with their replies, which made me feel that the effort I put forth to apply and interview them were well worth it. This type of positive feedback is something that makes me proud to refer job seeker friends to these companies, because the impression I received from them is that they are personable organizations who value their employees (and applicants)! I would also recommend these companies' products and services to family and friends because the impressions I received during these interviews is that they are reputable, trustworthy businesses.

3. Don't have an overly long list of job qualifications. When talking to other job seekers, some of them have mentioned that seeing a job posting with a long laundry list of qualifications and expectations can instantly discourage them from even applying for that job because they don't have all of the skills needed. I've seen some of these postings too, and they usually make me wonder how many of those required skills are really necessary. If they're all necessary, fine.

However, in my experience, that hasn't always been the case. Instead, I'd recommend listing only the key skills that are most important to the job being offered. If some of the skills required in a job posting aren't really necessary but fall in the "would like to have" category, perhaps the company should think about offering training, either on-the-job or offsite, for some of these skills. Personally, I don't have much experience with AS400, medical coding, or cloud computing, but if I was starting or considering a job that required those skills, I would take it upon myself to learn them, either on the job or on my own time.

Well, those are just a few observations from my job search. I'll try to update you on my progress in my job search, and if you are unemployed yourself, please feel free to let me know how you're job search is going. If you benefit from any of this advice above, then this blog post is a success. Stay positive, and realize that a good job is out there for you - I know mine's out there somewhere! Thanks and enjoy your day, everyone!

Nice Guys Finish Last

Well, another Minnesota Twins baseball season is finally over. Remember how the Twins went from last place in 1990 to first place and eventual World Series champs in 1991? Well, this time around, the Twins went from division champs in 2010 (the first MLB team to win their division, in fact, after playing a 163rd game for the division the previous 2 years) to WORST team in the American League this year with a 63-99 record, only ahead of the 1982 team that went 60-102 for the second-worst Twins team in their 51-year history in Minnesota. What the heck happened?

Well, there's several answers I can think of that caused their epic demise this year:

1. Injuries, injuries, injuries. From the position players in the Opening Day lineup, only 3B Danny Valencia avoided spending significant time on the disabled list. Notable omissions from the lineup on a regular basis include C Joe Mauer (what the heck really is "bilateral leg weakness" anyway?), 1B Justin Morneau (still suffering from concussion symptoms and other ailments), OF/DH Jason Kubel, 2B Alexi Casilla, CF Denard Span (also a concussion sufferer) and newly imported Japanese INF Tsuyoshi Nishioka.

2. Pitching. The Twins made a major mistake in not pursuing capable replacements when free-agent relievers Jesse Crain, Brian Fuentes and Matt Guerrier left after last season. Instead, we Twins fans were "treated" to the likes of Alex Burnett, Jim Hoey, Phil Dumatrait and Dusty Hughes, just to name a few of the lesser-known names in the Twins bullpen this year. We were also treated to down years by all of the starters, from ace Carl Pavano, Liriano, Brian Duensing, Nick Blackburn, Scott Baker and especially Kevin "I don't want to be here anymore" Slowey, who mailed in an 0-8 record with a 6.67 ERA this year.

3. A decimated farm system. I understand why Triple A Rochester's manager Tom Nieto was fired following consecutive 90-loss seasons, but their failure wasn't his alone. By making poor decisions (like trading young C Wilson Ramos to Washington for us to experience the misadventures of Matt Capps on the mound) and a lack of depth in the Twins' minor league system, the Twins front office played a big role in this year's disappointing collapse.

4. Poor free-agency decisions. Instead of keeping infielders Orlando Hudson and J.J. Hardy from last year's pennant winning club, this year the front office decided to jettison both players in favor of infrequently capable players like Alexi Casilla, Matt Tolbert, Luke "Skywalker" Hughes and the Japanese import Nishioka, who was signed to a 3-year contract and even admitted that based on his own poor play that he would have sent himself down to the minors this year. I think the Twins were expecting another Ichiro Suzuki, and instead got a Hideki Irabu.

5. Not playing the "Twins way." The thing that most clubs admired about the Twins while Tom Kelly was the manager was the "Twins way": timely hitting and good defense. In other words, doing the little things that help win ballgames. With the injuries and patchwork lineups this year, last year's AL Manager of the Year Ron Gardenhire was at times forced to put in players like Trevor Plouffe, Hughes and Tolbert who are not exactly known for their defense, as well as players like Rene Tosoni, Rene Rivera and Drew Butera who are not exactly known for their offense. The one thing that really bugged me about this year's team were the mental lapses some players had on offense, running the bases and on defense, which were not the same fundamentals that Kelly (who also helps out in spring training at times) preached for years.

6. A lack of conditioning. Entering the first year of a big contract, Joe Mauer had offseason surgery in December and he (and from the looks of it, many of Gardenhire's starters) took spring training as a kind of lackadaisical practice, going through the motions without putting much effort into it. And Joe wonders why his body wasn't ready in time for the regular season?!?

Some of the highlights this year included Liriano's no-hitter in Chicago, the team's touching tribute to Hall of Famer Harmon Killebrew after he lost his battle with cancer, former pitcher and Twins broadcaster Bert Blyleven's induction into the Hall of Fame, Jim Thome's 600th career home run, and closer Joe Nathan breaking the team's career saves mark.

In their second year at the beautiful Target Field, Twins fans expected more out of this team. In 2009, Mauer and Morneau combined to hit 58 home runs. This year, that same duo clubbed 7 round-trippers. I think it's safe to say that Mauer underperformed in the first year of his 8-year, $184 million contract. Mauer doesn't often come across as a leader and keeps to himself, but by signing that large of a contract, it's virtually implied that he be a much-needed leader on this team, whether by example on the field or in the clubhouse. The Twins also have some decisions on players like Michael Cuddyer, Kubel and Nathan. I think either Cuddyer or Kubel will stay but not both - I just don't think they can justify the expense for the production they've been giving the team lately.

In narrowly avoiding becoming the 2nd MLB with a payroll over $100 million (it came in at around $115 million this year) to lose 100 games, the Twins sputtered to the finish line in August and September, but gave significant playing time to rookies like Chris Parmalee (whose four homers for the big league club tied him for fifth on the team this year), and OF's Joe Benson and Ben Revere (whose "somersault triple" remains one of the funniest things I've ever seen in person at Target Field). There is some potential there, but the team really needs to take some drastic action to avoid becoming another team of nice guys who finish last again in 2012.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

As my close friends and family know, I'm a huge Star Wars fan. I got the "Star Wars" bug at the age of 8, and it really hasn't let go since. I've seen all the movies dozens of times (I watch the original trilogy at least once a year), and I even went to the Star Wars exhibit at the MN Science Museum and Star Wars in concert in recent years.

With that being said, the original Star Wars trilogy are still some of my all-time favorite films. My favorite movie of all-time is "The Empire Strikes Back," which several critics have rated one of the best sequels of all-time too. When I heard that Star Wars creator George Lucas was tweaking some of these movies for the Blu-ray release, my first thought was "not again," remembering how he'd altered selected scenes for their intitial DVD release.

Some of the Blu-ray changes being made to these films include blinking, clicking Ewok eyes on "Return of the Jedi," some minor cosmetic changes in "A New Hope" and fixing the Wampa arm in the beginning of "The Empire Strikes Back." I'm OK with Yoda being changed from the Frank Oz puppet to a more in-sync CGI version in "The Phantom Menace," but the thought of Darth Vader crying "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" as he throws Emperor Palpatine down the Death Star shaft to save his son in "Return of the Jedi" rankles me. That scene was perfect the way it was - why, George, why, do you insist on changing things again? I know these films are his creation and his vision, and he has the right to do with them what he wants, but every time he tweaks one of them, I reflect back on Darth Vader's quote to Lando Calrissian during "The Empire Strikes Back": "I'm altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further!"

To me, the worst changes to the the last release were:

1. Greedo shooting first in the famous "A New Hope" cantina scene.

2. Replacing Sebastian Shaw with Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker as Luke sees his father, Ben Kenobi & Yoda's ghostly images at the end of "Return of the Jedi."

3. Having Temeura Morrison (Jango Fett) replace the lines spoken by the original Boba Fett actor Jeremy Bulloch in "The Empire Strikes Back." I know Boba is Jango's clone, but I still liked Bulloch's voice in that role better.

4. Having a lame voice-over replace a line by James Earl Jones after the famous duel with Luke in Cloud City in "The Empire Strikes Back" and worse yet, recycling footage from "Return of the Jedi" to show Vader's shuttle landing in his Star Destroyer in a totally unnecessary added clip.

5. Removing the Ewok song at the end of "Return of the Jedi" and replacing it with a generic song being played while other planets celebrated the end of the Empire. Come on, I mean, that Ewok song was a single on the radio in 1983!

6. Replacing the original Sy Snootles and the Max Rebo song in "Return of the Jedi" with a worse song featuring a very fake-looking CGI alien.

I imagine at some point I'll end up buying the Blu-ray release because of the 40-plus deleted scenes and additional material, but with the knowledge that Lucas will release these films in 3-D beginning with "The Phantom Menace" next year (Jar-Jar Binks in 3-D? Who asked for that, really?) and the corresponding DVD or Blu-ray releases that will follow, I hope Mr. Lucas can understand why many diehard fans like myself wish he would stop tinkering with what were already great films, and just go ahead and release the original films on disc for us to enjoy unfiltered. Didn't he get the hint with the South Park parody? Enough already, George!

Carnival of Madness at the Minnesota State Fair

Until yesterday, I hadn't been to the MN State Fair in a few years, not since the company I worked for at the time had a booth in the Grandstand. I guess the long days working the booth kind of burned me out on the State Fair for a while, but when I heard the acts that would be at the Carnival of Madness tour this year, I decided to give the fair another try, and now I'm very glad that I did!

I did my homework and bought my fair and concert tickets early. I left home in plenty of time, and endured mild traffic congestion until I found an easily accessible park and ride lot. I got off the park and ride shuttle and got into the fair early yesterday afternoon, just in time to see part of a parade go by. I decided to visit a few buildings I hadn't been to before like the Creative Services building and the Arts building.

After admiring the work of several very talented Minnesota artists and grabbing a quick lunch, I headed down to the Grandstand, becoming part of the voluminous sea of people visiting the fair that day. I took my time viewing some of the many booths on both floors of the grandstand, until it was almost time for the show to start.

Shortly before 5 pm, I made my way to the concert general admission area in front of the large State Fair stage, just before the band Emphatic launched into a quick 20-minute set. The lead singer looked kind of like a young Sebastian Bach (original singer of the band Skid Row) and although I didn't know anything about this band, I liked their music enough to make a mental note to check out their debut CD Damage.

Following a quick set change, the next act, Adelitas Way, took the stage. Their energy was contagious, affecting concertgoers around me. I enjoyed hearing the radio singles "Sick" and "Invincible" and was ready for more music after their set - that is, right after a quick break for supper first!

I headed to the left side of the stage during the set change when I noticed a line forming by that side of the stage. I joined the growing line once I found out that fans were waiting for autographs from the members of the evening's headliners Theory of a Deadman. When my turn came to meet the band, I quickly greeted them, and complimented them on their new album. I told frontman Tyler Connolly that my favorite cut of The Truth Is... is the song "Bitch Came Back (it's the second song on The Truth Is..., which is not the nicest song in public, but one that I can't help rocking out to in the car)," to which he replied, "we'll have to play it for you tonight then!"

After the autograph/supper break, the pop/rock band My Darkest Days started their half-dozen song set. I had seen them open for Sevendust last fall at First Avenue, and their set wasn't much different from that first performance. I wasn't sure if My Darkest Days would be at this show, because I couldn't find their logo on the official Carnival of Madness website or the tour T-shirts. They kept the crowd entertained throughout their set, though closing with their biggest hit, "Porn Star Dancing."

When southern rockers Black Stone Cherry began their set, the crowd was really ready to rock! This was another band I'd heard play live before, when they also opened for Sevendust at the Myth three years ago while supporting their self-titled debut album. I enjoyed getting to hear newer songs like "Blind Man" and "Blame It On The Boom Boom." In fact, I was so enthralled in hearing the current single "White Trash Millionaire" and seeing lead guitarist Ben Wells play the voicebox and his cool white electric guitar with an Elvis portrait etched on it, that I almost missed seeing a couple of inebriated fans getting escorted out of the stadium by security officers. I also have to give frontman/guitarist Chris Robertson props for adhering to the fair's rule of no cursing, something which probably has to do with the fact that several Twin Cities news stations have booths very close to the Grandstand and have live broadcasts from the Fair every day. However, as the concert continued, I knew that the later acts, especially Theory of a Deadman, would quickly break that rule, and it didn't bother me one bit!

As the skies began to darken, Alter Bridge frontman Myles Kennedy took to the stage by himself as he sang and slowly played guitar for the brooding song "Slip To The Void," the first song on their third album AB III. Halfway through the song, the rest of the band joined him (who are also in the band Creed) for an uplifting start to their set. I'd watched Kennedy front Slash's solo band last year, but I had no idea just how great a guitar player he is. I admired his solos, especially the "shred-off" between Kennedy and lead guitarist Mark Tremonti after the single "Isolation," which led up to a rousing version of their hit single "Rise Today" to finish their set.

In case you didn't know, the members of Theory of a Deadman hail from Canada, a fact which was made obvious as the house lights went down and the song "Blame Canada" from the movie South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut piped through the speakers. Immediately afterwards, the band launched into the song "Gentleman" from their new album. Known for their ballads and male chauvinistic rock anthems, Theory played a mix of these songs to great crowd reaction. Connolly kept the crowd involved in the performance beginning with the second song "Got It Made" as he pulled out a FlipCam video camera to catch the audience while guitarists Dave Brenner and Dean Back encouraged fans to make as much noise as possible.

True to his word, Connolly and his bandmates played the guilty pleasure song "Bitch Came Back" during their set, as well as the songs "Easy To Love You," "Out of My Head," and the catchy single "Lowlife" from the new album during their set. Theory closed out the night with the big hits from the album Scars and Souvenirs "Hate My Life" and "Bad Girlfriend" just in time for the State Fair fireworks to begin.

I admired the fireworks as I slowly made my way to the exit. On the drive home last night, I reveled in the fact that I lucked out and had a perfect weather day, and got to hear almost four dozen excellent songs from six great modern rock bands (oh, and I later found out that the Twins also won, breaking their losing streak too) - what more could a guy want from a terrific summer day?

Half Way Jam 2011 or Up All Night, Sleep All Day

Well, it's been a while since I've had something to blog about, so here goes: I just went to the Half Way Jam outdoor classic rock festival in Royalton, MN last weekend, and I had a blast! I thought about going to this event last year, but I wasn't too thrilled with the lineup. This year's performers intrigued me though, so I thought I'd give it a try, and it turned out to be a lot of fun!

I decided not to go to the early events, and I was able to find the event parking right off of Highway 15 on Thursday night about 20 minutes before Quiet Riot was scheduled to perform on the main stage. There was plenty of room for people to mill about, buy souvenirs and refreshments, and catch up with friends. I moseyed over to the main stage area that Thursday night just in time for Quiet Riot to begin. I thought that they did a good job of warming up the crowd, and new singer Mark Huff screamed just as loud as the late Kevin DuBrow, especially during their hits "Cum On Feel the Noize" and "Bang Your Head (Metal Health)" to close out their set.

Amped up for more music, I then wandered over to the Rhino Deck side stage just to the left of the gates to hear the local Led Zeppelin tribute band Blimp. I had heard their band members Jeff Engholm, Mark Hasbrouck and Stacey Bauer play in local bands Collective Unconscious and the Stearns County Pachanga Society before, so I knew to expect a good set, but Bauer's powerful vocals channeling her inner Robert Plant took their songs to exciting heights as they partied through songs like "Black Dog" and "Rock and Roll" and took the audience on a soaring journey with the Zeppelin epic "Kashmir."

After watching Blimp's set, I then returned to my folding chair by the main stage to sit back and listen to Firehouse. I've seen Firehouse in concert twice before, once at the old Del-Win Entertainment Center in St. Joe about a decade ago, and more recently at the Paramount Theatre in downtown St. Cloud a couple of years ago, and their set was reminiscent of their last performance. I'm not a big fan of Firehouse, but I thought they did a good job, and kept the couples dancing with their wedding reception-ready ballads "Love of a Lifetime" and "When I Look Into Your Eyes." As the crowd left for the night, we were ushered out by the sounds of AC/DC's hit "Thunderstruck" being performed by tribute band T.N.T. on the Rhino Deck. I left the venue that night looking forward to even more rock the next night - turns out it got even better!

On Friday night, I got to Half Way Jam just as local grunge covers band Wicked Garden was treating eventgoers to a hearty rendition of the Stone Temple Pilots song "Plush." The first band on the main stage that night was the hair rockers Slaughter. I saw some friends in attendance as I walked to the barrier seperating the VIP area from the general admission crowd mulling around the stage. In the middle of their set, frontman Mark Slaughter walked around the crowd in the general admission aread while singing, so I and several people around me got to shake hands with him while enjoying the show. They closed out their set with the singles "Fly To The Angels" and "Up All Night (Sleep All Day)," leaving the crowd ready for more!

Between sets, I returned to the Rhino Deck to hear more of Wicked Garden's covers of songs by grunge-era artists Stone Temple Pilots, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Soundgarden and Alice in Chains. I liked their covers of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and Alice in Chain's "Bones," a song which signaled the next act on the main stage, rocker Lita Ford, was ready to begin.

I realized that quite a few people around me weren't even born when some of Lita's hits were on rock radio, but that didn't seem to mind as Lita and her band (including solo recording artist/producer Gary Hoey on guitar) kept the crowd rocking with her songs. I liked hearing some of the rarer tracks like"Back to the Cave" and "Falling In and Out of Love" and the fact that Lita was rather humble, apologizing to the crowd a couple of times on songs that she forgot she was supposed to start on guitar. Towards the end of her set, her keyboardist played the opening to the Ozzy Ozbourne single "Mr. Crowley," which led in to her famed duet with Ozzy "If I Close My Eyes Forever." Lita polished off her set with the hit song "Kiss Me Deadly." I was thoroughly impressed with her performance, and I liked the fact that she played lead or rhythm guitar on most of the songs in her set.

Of all the major acts in this year's Half Way Jam, the one I was looking forward to hearing the most was Cinderella, because they were the band that I knew the most songs of than all the others. Cinderella headlined on Friday night, and it was by far my favorite performance of the festival. Everyone in the band put forth their best efforts, especially frontman Tom Kiefer. In addition to singing all the vocals, he also played guitar with about a half-dozen different guitars, played keyboards on the first half of their anthem "Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone)," and even blasted a little saxophone on their encore closer "Shelter Me." Kiefer looked thoroughly worn out at the end of their set, and acknowledged that Minnesota "kicked his ass again." It looked like the band had as much fun as the audience did, so I'm sure they'll be back at Half Way Jam again.

On Saturday, I had just finished a nice meal with family in St. Cloud when it was time to "head back to the farm," as the Half Way Jam radio commercials say. I arrived just in time for Stephen Pearcy and his solo band perform most of the big hits from his band Ratt, who is currently on hiatus. I've been aware of Ratt ever since a friend started wearing her Ratt T-shirt to school in sixth grade, so I enjoyed listening to their classics "Back For More," "Way Cool Jr." and "Round and Round."

The second band on the main stage was Kix, a band I didn't know much about, but they put on a good show for the crowd as the rain began to fall. Frontman Steve Whiteman was a blond ball of energy, as he ran and twirled around the stage throughout their set. I appreciated his self-deprecating humor as he mockingly acknowledged that the song "Don't Close Your Eyes" was their hit. I had forgotten about their lesser-known songs like "Cold Shower" (which was prefaced by an amusing story from Steve about their exploits the previous night, an encounter that I won't reprint here) and "Blow My Fuse" so it was good to see a band having a great time and getting the audience primed for the final headliner of the evening.

After the set-change intermission and hearing a few songs by the Metallica tribute band "One" on the Rhino deck, it was time for the final headliner, Skid Row, to begin on the main stage. My first exposure to this band was listening to a friend's Youth Gone Wild cassette while a bunch of us were hanging out in a hotel room in what was still West Germany about a month after graduating high school. I haven't heard much from this band since they had their original singer Sebastian Bach in the early 90's, but their current singer, self-proclaimed redneck Johnny Solinger did a great job with their newer material as well as the band's greatest hits "18 and Life," "I Remember You" and "Monkey Business." I enjoyed the solos and one-offs by guitarists Dave Sabo and Scotti Hill during the extended bridge of "Monkey Business" and by the time the band finished their encore song "Youth Gone Wild," it was hard to believe this year's Half Way Jam was almost over - most of us still wanted more!

I did get to hear more Metallica cover songs by the tribute band One before I left that night, and was thoroughly tired by the time I rolled into bed early on Sunday morning. For a show like that, I think you have to follow Slaughter's mantra of "up all night, sleep all day." For my first Half Way Jam festival, I have to say I was impressed. The bands were great on the main and side stages, everything was well-organized, and I didn't see too many people get too rowdy or out of control. If next year's line-up is half as good as this year's was, I'm sure I'll be back next year to get my fix of some great hairball rock!

CD/DVD Review - Somewhere In The Stratosphere by Shinedown

I've been a fan of Shinedown's for a few years ago - I picked up their debut album Leave A Whisper not long after a friend of mine recommended the band after he saw them open for Van Halen in Fargo. I was fortunate enough to see them play live at the casino in Walker in 2009 as the band was in the middle of what would be an almost three-year-long tour in support of their third studio album Sound of Madness. I recently tracked down their new live album Somewhere in the Stratosphere, hoping the recording would capture some of the energetic performance I saw in person. I have to say after a couple of listens that I'm not disappointed!

The live record is a 2 CD/2 DVD recording of a pair of live concerts: an acoustic show in Kansas City, and an electric live concert in Washington State. The Washington State show has the band in a large auditorium, and features all of their hits plus the soundtrack songs "Her Name is Alice" and "Diamond Eyes (Boom Lay Boom Lay Boom)" that are also on the fan club edition of Sound of Madness. My only complaint on this CD/DVD is that sometimes guitarist Zach Myer's work gets lost at times, drowned out by the prerecorded strings and pyrotechnics, but overall it's a very good concert disc.

The acoustic show was part of the band's tour late last year, and adds additional musicians on percussion, slide guitar, vocals and horns. It takes some getting used to hearing frontman Brent Smith sing in different keys on songs like "45" and "If You Only Knew," but the DVD adds a VH1 Storyteller-like vibe as Smith sheds some light on inspiration for several songs in this concert. There's also a few fun cover songs in this performance: a spirited version of the Foo Fighters' "Times Like These," a cover of the Joe Cocker version of "With A Little Help From My Friends" with guest vocalist Will Hoge and some extra backing musicians, and of course their breakthrough hit cover of Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Simple Man."

While this isn't a perfect concert recording, I have to say it is a solid effort. I'd recommend it for anyone who's a Shinedown fan and/or has seen them live in concert. While this recording isn't easy to find (at least not in stores anyway, it's probably easier to find online), if you're in the mood for a couple of concert discs, it's well worth the effort.